Turning into a house plant and watching lesbians have at it
Original: 観葉植物になって百合カップルのイチャラブ生活を見守るお話
Author: Mikami Teren
Illustrator: Yuzouni
Trans/Proof/Osin: Sida
I’m Ueda Hana, a normal high-school girl that you would find just about anywhere. But if I have to some more, it’d be that I’m really REALLY into girls love – yuri if you prefer it that way.
Twas a wintery day like any other. On my way back from school, which ended a bit earlier than usual, my heart went fluttery fluffer for a bit at a certain sight.
It was two small girls in randoseru holding their hands together on their way home.
Haaah…Gosh darn that was so cute. Little yuris ….. truly a marvel of mankind.
I slipped into a stream of delusions; imagining those tiny little red randoserus of theirs gently shaking up and down, up and down with each step as I watched them behind from afar with a slight but soft smile.
As they’re now, I’m sure that they’re being together with the purest, most innocent of thoughts. But as they go into middle, they’ll start to grow feelings for each other; by high-school they’ll start dating and then finally after they’ll probably settle down somewhere in Shibuya.
Ah, but I’m sure the laws should have become more liberal and same-sex marriage would be a normal thing in society when they’ve become adults.
No … no, not “should”. I can’t leave it to others to take care of it.
That’s why I’m working hard to become a Diet Member in the first place; to make this country even the slightest bit easier for yuris to live. Yes, that right, I, Ueda Hana, am becoming a bureaucrat for yuri.
So don’t you worry oh little ones! The future of yuri has never been brighter. I’ll protect you all!
Busy steering at the little yuri couple with those thoughts, I had failed to notice a big sign that says “DANGER! DO NOT ENTER” along with an elephant-sized manhole on the side of the road. Sooner than I had realized, I’ve already fallen into that manhole and died. Ueda Hana, aged 17.
My dreams of becoming a Diet Member had now been crushed.
Ueda Hana, aged 17. Lived for yuri, died cause of yuri.
However – I feel myself waking up even though I’m supposed to be dead.
What’s happening? Something’s clearly wrong here. Why do I still have consciousness? I can still vividly the recall the horrors the moment I fell. So then why …?
My vision blares and blurs. What’s this room? Where am I? It certainly wasn’t my room, but there’s a sense of familiarity about it.
Doesn’t look like I’m lying on a bed. I could barely feel my whole body. Must have been quite an injury from the looks of it, I guess?
Hmm…?
Someone’s just entered the room. It’s a small girl.
She dives head-first into bed, then without a moment pause, lets out a faint, weak whimper.
“Onee-chan…Onee-chan”
When I heard that voice, I felt like my heart was being strangled.
I wanted to say something, anything to cheer her up, but a sudden weariness assaulted my whole body. I couldn’t wrestle myself to stay awake even if I wanted to.
I close my eyes. My mind slowly succumbing to darkness; ever so wishing that, when I wake up, the tears on that girl would’ve been replaced by a smile.
Dreaming, I could see myself embracing a little crying girl.
I absolutely, with all my hearts and souls, love yuri. But it doesn’t mean that I want to do this and that with another girl. I just like watching it.
But even so, I’ve held special feelings for this girl. It wasn’t of the dirty, naughty sort; I was purely concerned for her and wanted to brighten her up.
Seeing her cry, my heart also felt saddened. I could feel it sinking deeper and deeper, deeper than the bottom of the ocean.
Wanting to ease her sadness even just by a bit, I gently patted her head.
She looked up to me and uttered “Onee-chan”
Onee-chan.
It was the moment that I saw myself within her teary eyes.
That I remembered everything.
I then again found myself waking up.
This time with a much clearer memory than before.
This is Ueda Aoi – my sister’s room.
So that’s why it felt so familiar. It’s the room next door dang nabbit! But why then am I in her room and not mine?
The answer became clear right away. Or rather, the answer was so obvious when I looked at the mirror in front of me.
I’ve become a house plant.
…...Yup
It’s hard to take in, but that’s the reality. I’ve become a domesticated plant and am now sternly sitting in Aoi-chan’s room.
This Benjamin fig was a present from me to Aoi-chan on her birthday, intending for it to be a kind of indoor greenery for her room. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure about choosing house plant over flowers to give to a grade-schooler; but since she said she wants something that lasts for a long, I ended up going with it. She was pretty happy with the curled leaves, saying that they were cute.
But gosh, how did I ended up turning into a plant of all things…?
I can understand now why I barely feel my body. It’s because I’m a plant. But then how am I still able to things around me, when I’m just a gosh darn plant?
Could it be that I still have some bodily functions left intact? With that thought, I tried doing and that for a while but to no avail. As expected, I couldn’t uproot myself and run and jump around. It would have been cause for a light trauma anyways….
I could hear the sounds of footsteps slowly climbing the stairs. Looks like I’m also able to hear sounds and feel vibrations. I heard that if you let tomatoes listen to classical music they’ll be sweet when fully ripe, so I guess it’s something along those lines. Not that I know of any.
The door then opened. I was surprised at first since I didn’t hear any knocks, but it was Aoi-chan. Of course, no one would knock when entering their own room.
Our mother appeared from behind, with a worried look on her face
“A-chan, you don’t have to force yourself to school. You can stay at home for a while.”
“OK”
Nodding with her still-rosy face, Aoi-chan changes into her pajamas in a weary fashion, then lies down on bed. Mom puts a gently puts a bow of candies near the pillows.
“Take it slowly OK? Just one by one.”
“……OK.”
Mom softly patted Aoi-chan’s head as she nodded, answering in an even weaker voice than before; then left the room.
Aoi-chan then stare blankly into the ceiling.
Now that I think about it, Aoi-chan’s always been the type of girl who would always have a fever before field trips and whatnot. It’s probably stress or something, but did something happen recently that could cause her that much stress?
I started thinking but almost instantly, I’d realized the answer.
Could it be…that it has to do with me falling into a giant manhole?
“Onee-chan”
As if to confirm my suspicions, Aoi-chan’s weeps faintly.
It sent chills down across my spine, before I could realize that I didn’t have any.
H-how could I have missed it…...Aoi-chan is still a fifth-grader, but had already lost her Onee-chan to an accident…...
O-O-Oooooooh Aoi-chan! You poor poor little thing!
That’s why you’re having a fever and sobbing so much.
Ooooooh Onee-chan’s so sooo sooooo sorry Aoi-chan!
If only Onee-chan hadn’t fantasized about loli yuri couples and flew off to heaven.
No, no excuses will cut it now.
All Onee-chan can do now is absorb all the CO2 in the room and spit it back out as O2. I started inhaling and exhaling furiously.
*inhales*, *exhales*, *inhales*, *exahales*. As I showed off my awesome 360-noscope respiratory skills from back when I was in the Tennis club, Aoi-chan suddenly stood up.
“That’s right, I have to give it water.”
Aoi-chan grabbed the little watering can and fumbled slowly but steadily towards me.
Aoi-chan’s a pretty young lass with big round eyes and an artfully proportioned face. Compared to me, who bears more resemblance to our mother and is more of the cute cuddly type (and that’s being as charitable as possible), while Aoi-chan who looks more like will surely become a gorgeous fine lady in the future.
But dangit, if I can’t do anything for my timid little sister who would always follow behind me and say “Onee-chan! Onee-chan!” when she’s hurt; then what the hell kind of big sister am I?!
I channeled all my body, my might into my arms. MOOOOOOOVE ARMS, NUOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
If only I could hold and embrace that tiny body of her. No, I HAVE to do it, provide what little comfort I cant. MOOOOOOOOOVE GODDAMNIT.
Gosh, had I known it would come to this, I’d have given Aoi-chan a Venus flytrap or some other carnivorous plant. Then maybe I could flap my leaves back and forth to pep her up or something. But then again it would probably dramatically increases the chances of Aoi-chan cutting me down while crying all over the place.
Aoi-chan stared intensely at me (or rather the houseplant) in silence. Seeing that now is the perfect chance, I tried desperately to let out my voice, but I again am reminded of the harshness of reality: the Benjamin fig doesn’t have any parts that could produce sounds.
Water then flowed from the can onto me. It was a weird feeling. It’s refreshing like when you’re showering but also like chugging very tasty water down the throat. Oooooh yesssss…I could get used to this.
…Wait… Am I naked right now... Plants don’t have clothes right? On top of that, I’m being watered by my 10 years old sister. While naked……….
KILL. ME. PLEASE
“Hey, Onee-chan.”
*Thump*
Could it be!? Could it be that Aoi-chan realized that the plant in front of her is me, her big sister---!?
“Everyday’s been lonely without you, Onee-chan…”
Ah well it was too convenient to be true anyways. Aoi-chan was just talking to herself.
Oooooh, big sis is sorry Aoi-chan…
“Why did you have to leave us, Onee-chan…”
Aaaah, if only I hadn’t watched those loli yuris…
“You were always so cheerful, so cool, so good-looking, so fun to be with….. I’m alone now that you’re gone, Onee-chan….”
Wait wait wait, who is this person that you’re talking of? Me? ME!?
Are you telling me that I could have gone the forbidden yuri route with my sister? SACREBLEU! WHAT HAVE I DONE-! HAD I MADE MY MOVE SOONER---!
No. I’m the kind of person that prefers watching from the sidelines. DANG NABBIT NO, THAT’S ALSO WRONG, IT’S NOT LIKE THAT! Darn, I must be confused too from all the recent events.
I just want Aoi-chan to perk up, that’s all. Can’t I do anything, ANYTHING that would help at all! Just standing there and watching alone is so painful!
I almost wanted to cry along with Aoi-chan.
That moment, the front door’s bell rang. Aoi-chan didn’t paid any attention and kept on watering me, but someone came knocking on her doors.
It was our mother.
“Aoi, your friend’s come by to visit, won’t you talk with her a bit?”
“…, I’m watering the plant.”
“It’s Chiharu-chan.”
“…”
Aoi-chan the nodded without answering. Mom smiled gently then told her to wait a bit then left the room.
I could hear Aoi-chan whispering “Chi-chan”.
Moments later, a little girl carrying a randoseru on her shoulders, and slightly taller than Aoi-chan appeared.
Chi-chan is the nickname we gave to Natsume Chiharu, our childhood’s friend. Since both our houses were close, we would often play together.
Chiharu-chan’s always been quite the tomboy and would often challenges me at various sports and games. And every time, Aoi-chan would follow behind, not wanting to be the only one left out, and would often trip an fall.
We haven’t played together much ever since I went to high-school and joined the Tennis club, but even so we were always an inseparable trio.
“Here, it’s today’s prinouts.”
“OK.”
Chiharu-chan brashly handed over the prinouts while Aoi-chan took them with a downhearted face.
Both don’t know what to say to each other.
It was Chihiro-chan, the big sister (although by just 3 months) that broke the silence.
“You’ve skipping school for a week now, are you alright Aoi-chan?”
“Still a bit feverish I think.”
“Then why are you not sleeping.”
Chiharu-chan pointed towards the bed, but Aoi-chan sat beside the plant (me) and nodded “Okay”.
“School is boring without you Aoi.”
“…”
“Come to school Aoi, even if it’s just for the first period.”
Chiharu-chan stiffened her face at the sight of Aoi-chan gloomy face.
I feel you Chiharu-chan. I know exactly what you’re thinking.
I’m sure that Chiharu-chan came over to cheer Aoi-chan up.
But since she doesn’t have any experience dealing with this kind stuff, she ended up just saying brashly.
You have my support Aoi-chan!
Fight, Aoi-chan! Fight! Fight for my part too (since I can only stand and watch)! But, ah, well, maybe it’s a bit too much to ask of a 5[SUP]th[/SUP]-grader…Maybe…?
“…Aoi”
But looks like her resolve’s been broken as Chiharu-chan now also seems depressed.
Ah, I can’t do anything even when I’m so close to them. Watching the two of them hesitate then remembering my helplessness is just torture.
That moment, as if Chiharu-chan had realized something, she pointed her finger at me.
“Is that the plant from Hana-chan?”
“Uh huh.”
Yep. And if I have to add, I’m more of a Planty the Plant-chan now than Hana-chan.
“The curly leaves are kinda cute huh”
“I know right.”
Chiharu-chan then started poking my leaves with Aoi-chan following suit soon after.
“Dunno why, but this plant kinda reminds of Hana-chan.”
“Ah…You’re maybe right.”
Well it’s certainly true that I have natural curly hair. I had tried numerous times using all sorts of techniques, methods to straighten it out but they would always pop back and the cost each time was just ridiculous, so I eventually gave up and went with a shorter hairstyle.
But it’s not like I intentionally gifted Aoi-chan a Benjamin fig because it looked like me. Even I am not that narcistic.
“It’s does look like Onee-chan.”
Aoi-chan slipped out a faint smile as she said so.
Oh, oooh…!
Chiharu-chan then came next to Aoi-chan, handing her out.
“Hey, can I water it too?”
“Sure. I think Onee-chan will like it too.”
Oh, you girls are already treating Planty the Plant-chan as Onee-chan huh? Well, you’re not off the mark so I can’t complain much there.
Now it’s Chiharu-chan who’s watering me. Aaah, so cool and refreshing. Makes me almost want to cop a feel and moan. These damn brats are having fun with my body. I never knew 5[SUP]th[/SUP]-grader could be this perverted!!
After returning the watering can, Chiharu-chan seemed to hesitate a little then finally decided on something.
With a serious look in her eyes, she took Aoi-chan’s hands and held it firmly.
“Hey, I uh, know a little charm that can cheer you up Aoi.”
Could it be…?
Could it the thing that I showed Chiharu-chan when she tripped and injured her knee badly?
You still remember that after all this time huh, Aoi-chan?
…If so, then what next is…
Aoi-chan leaned her, looking back with innocent puppy-like eyes.
“…Really?”
“Yeah. I can’t show it to anyone else, but if it’s you Aoi then it’s OK. Sooo, do you want it?”
“Yeah.”
“…Then, close your eyes.”
Aoi-chan closes her eyes, completely trusting Chiharu-chan’s words.
Meanwhile, Chiharu-chan puckered up her lips in a tense, nervous fashion.
But, she eventually mustered up the courage to move her face closer.
Slowly, but surely, Chiharu-chan’s lips moved ever closer and closer Aoi-chan’s face and finally, landed a kiss on her cheeks.
Oh yes…sweet sweet loli yuri…
Surprised, Aoi-chan quickly covered her face and begins blushing intensely.
Even Chiharu-chan felt embarrassed and looked the other away, her face also pinkish.
Truly, truly a wonder of mankind.
And, like exchanging vows of eternity to each other, Chiharu-chan bravely says.
“Hey, you know, everything’s gonna be alright. I’ll forever be by your side Aoi, so…”
“…Chi-chan, that’s…”
With the purest of eyes locked onto her, Chiharu-chan, though flustered, still manages to.
“I-it’s not anything weird okay…It’s just that, you’re a shy person, right Aoi? You’d cry the second there’s no one you know around, right? S-so, from now on I’ll be by your side, forever, for Hana-chan’s part too, so…”
Who is this fine, handsome gentleman? HOLD ME, HOLD ME DARNIT.
Aoi-chan took that love confession-like line with a dazed face for a while.
But this time it wasn’t a depressing silence like before.
“Aaah, I’m sorry Aoi. You still have a fever and I had to go and said something strange.”
“No, I’m really, really happy.”
A smile slowly bloomed on Aoi-chan’s murky face.
It was like the clouds parted way for a ray of light to shine down.
Aoi-chan firmly grabbed Chiharu-chan’s hands with both hands, with a slightly embarrassed, happy look on her face.
“Chi-chan, please be with me forever and ever ‘kay. I can’t even imagine what I would if you were gone too.”
“Of course, dummy. Who knows when you’re gonna have another fever if I left you alone. It’s not just your family that cares about you, silly.”
“Thanks, Chi-chan…”
The two of them would then hold their hands for a while.
Aoi-chan was chuckling the whole time, as opposed to Chiharu-chan who was super blushy and embarrassed.
Even when leaving, her face was still like that of a boy who has just visited a girl’s room for the first time.
Aaah…
I can’t quite put a finger on whether it’s love or just plain friendship, but it’s obvious that Chiharu-chan has some sort of special feelings towards Aoi-chan.
But wow was that a surprise. I had no idea Chiharu that-chan felt that way about towards Aoi-chan.
Girls her age would normally look up to their older sister (and that’s me) but… Seems like fate doesn’t want me to get any action huh…
Nein nein nein, so what if it’s what fate has in store for me, fine by me. Besides, it’s thanks to that, that Aoi-chan brightened up. She now understands that she’s not alone, not only through words, but also through Chiharu-chan’s own action.
It maybe be a bit awkward for me to say this, but you mustn’t let the past hold you back forever. You’ve to look forward and move on.
And in a sense, that also includes me.
My dreams of being a Diet Member may now have disappeared for good, but this second life as a plant may not be so bad at all.
And so that was the beginning of my new life, observing Aoi-chan’s yuri-ism from start to finish, from Ohio to Obama. All day, every day in my special in my premier houseplant spot.
Aoi-chan returned to school as normal the following day.
She still would sometimes stare blankly in the distance with a sad expression, but her fever is now now completely gone.
Splendid, absolutely splendid.
And also as a result of me passing away, Chiharu-chan’s been coming by and playing with Aoi-chan more lately in her room. Chiharu-chan must have been considerate since Aoi-chan isn’t exactly the best at outdoor games. Such kindness. So marvelous.
Two weeks after my star had fallen, on a certain day.
Today, they’re doing their Handicraft’s homework together. Looks like they’re sewing threads together to make a purse.
“You’re really good at this kind of stuff Aoi…”
“Really?”
“I’m completely helpless when it comes to knitting, sewing things or the likes. They’re kinda scary you know? With all the needles and everything.”
Putting away her work, Chiharu-chan falls on her back, arms stretching out and eyes staring at the ceiling. I feel ye Chiharu-chan. I too would always begged Mom to do my Sewing homework for me.
Meanwhile, Aoi-chan kept on passing the needle back and forth silently.
Aoi-chan loves these kinds of mundane, boring works. She would always solve the crossword puzzles on Mom’s magazines and grind the heck out of her character’s level in video games. In the starting areas. Without advancing the story.
Seeing tiny, little elementary-schooler sinking their head into work, slowly chipping it away bits by bits somehow makes my heart all warm and fluffy. I would often tease and mess with them, only to be greeted with cute, adorable groanings. Yes, I know, I’m a hopeless Onee-chan with no saving graces.
And it seemed Chiharu-chan’s boredom has reached its peak.
“Hey Aoi. Let’s do something else.”
“Sure, but what?”
“Hmmm…”
Looks like their works have reached a turning point. As Aoi-chan begins cleaning up, putting her tools back into the sewing kit box, Chiharu-chan, having finished hers earlier, strike Aoi-chan a question.
“Hey Aoi.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have a crush on any of the boys in our class?”
“Eeeh!?”
Caught off guard at the sudden change of topic, Aoi-chan’s silky black hair shivers ever so slightly.
“No, no of course not silly. No, I don’t have anyone in mind. Besides, we’re still too young for that kind of stuff.”
“Your reaction is awfully suspicious you know.”
I know right.
“Oh, come on. I said that I don’t have any.”
As if to make sure Chiharu-chan gets it, Aoi-chan repeated her answer.
“I’m not friends with any boy, nor have I ever talked to anyone of them.”
“And does this ‘no’ also includes boys that you want to talk with but haven’t?”
“Yes.”
Aoi-chan nodded back strongly.
Looks like she doesn’t understand why the sudden question as her face is now a bit snarky. But well, if things are as they seems, then she probably doesn’t have anyone in mind.
As the line of questioning suddenly stopped there, Aoi-chan stood up.
“I’m going to the toilet a bit okay?”
“Kay.”
As soon as Aoi-chan left the room, Chiharu-chan lets out a huge sigh as if one of her strings got cut loose.
“Why am I even this nervous…”
Chiharu-chan scratches her face as her face blushes red.
Walking around anxiously, Chiharu-chan then stopped and looked at me.
“Hey Hana-chan… Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”
You’ve come to the right place, oh troubled maiden. Now let out all your worries, my child. These figgly leaves shall relieve you of them all.
“Lately, I’ve been feeling kinda strange you know. Ever since you left us, every time I see Aoi cry, my heart would just race and skip a beat.”
Uh huh, uh huh.
To be perfectly honest, that is a sickness called love, my young grasshopper.
“I would always feel strangely restless every time Aoi is in a different team in P.E. Things like “What’s Aoi doing right now?” or “Is Aoi gonna be alright?” keeps popping up in my head.”
I know young one. For that is love.
Oh lords and gods of Holy Heavens and Motherly Nature! Blessings upon me and these two young maidens, as I bear witness to the birth of a love most Yuri between them this very moment.
Many a number of arbitrary imaginary beers were consumed.
